_My experience in becoming the student of my half and the delectable of my Parents_
The noise and boisterous activities were typical of the last day of the term. Everyone was playing one game or the other.some were cracking jokes.
I was having real fun playing cards with Olisa and two other boys but each time I glanced at Chinasa, I saw she was sitting moodily. She seemed nervous which was so unlike her. I felt the need to walk up to her and know what’s up but her words resounded in my head.
I’m busy…I’m too busy.
I shook my head.”I’m busy too. Whatever it is, she would handle it” I thought.
“About your sis, any progress yet?” Olisa asked while playing. I’d told him the whole thing overstudies.
I shook my head.
“She’s the one at fault, she knows that right?”
“I don’t know” I muttered glancing at her again. This time, our eyes got locked but she looked away almost immediately.
“You girls will fix it soon?” It was a question.
I sighed “I think so” but I did not think so. Chinasa did not look like she’ll ever make the first move. Why should it be me? I’m the one that was wronged and when I did swallow my pride to ask for her help, she told me she was busy!
I could picture the holiday being an extremely boring one. Not only am I grounded but also stuck in the house with someone I don’t chat with.
“What are you playing sef!” Said Olisa removing the triangle card I’d just dropped on top of his.
“Aww…sorry” I was supposed to drop a circle.
“What were you thinking?”
When we were trekking back Home, Chinasa diverted into a cyber café.
“where are you going? I asked before I could get hold of myself. It was a silly question and I thought she wouldn’t reply.
“I want to check my result” she replied weakly
“But daddy checks it for us all the time”
She sighed. “This time, I want to see it first before dad”
My heart was leaping for joy. Did she even notice? She was talking to me!
I pushed my luck “But then, why to waste money when you know dad will…”
“What! What!” she barked “is it your money? Is it your result?”
Here we go again…
She walked into the café and I trekked the remaining distance home alone.
When dad came back from work that evening, we dropped our scratch cards for him as usual and went back to our room.
He’ll call us when he checks it.
Chinasa was shaking by the time we returned to the room.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. No reply
“Didn’t you do well?” Still no reply.
“You know you can tell me about it..”
“Can’t you just mind your business for once?!” She barked.
So I decided to mind my business. I lay down to sleep and just when sleep had nearly stolen me away, dad called.
I felt so happy. I’d not seen the result yet but knowing that I had tried my best and having found the exams cheaper, I knew there would be an improvement.
On the other hand, my twin was reluctant. That was when I was convinced that she did not do well. I felt for her. She’d taken the 2nd position last term and dad had promised her a little ‘Something’ if she comes first this term. she’s probably sad that she didn’t meet up.
Daddy was in the sitting room scrutinizing our result printout. He looked up when we came in and I could tell that he was not happy.
“Here,” he said extending his hand. I wrongly collected my twin’s and my mouth was wide open in shock. 5th? I’d expected the 2nd position at least.
She realized our mistake at once and snatched hers from me and dropped mine on the floor. I was too excited to mind her act of disrespect.
“WOW!” I took the 12th position. Without Chinasa’s help. I kissed my result sheet.
“Wow?” Dad asked and that was when my countenance changed.
He was supposed to be happy. For me, at least. The look on his face told me he wasn’t.
“You think you tried?” he asked,” When will you ever measure up to your twin?”
I said in my mind “Always comparing me to my twin, duh!”
By the way, what’s with your result?” He asked Chinasa.
I glanced at her. She hung her head in shame she had known all afternoon.
When she said nothing, dad returned to me. “What do you have to say about it?”
“About what?” I asked although I knew what he meant
I glanced at her again then back to dad
“She didn’t do well this term”
“Why, of course!” He said, “how can she do well when she’s been wasting time doing irrelevant things like sneaking out for a party?!”
That was when it dawned on me that I was about to receive part of the blame but I held myself.
Chinasa was shaking again. I was staring at the floor as usual.
“All the time I ask ‘why’ “dad began ” why aren’t you like your twin. If you were, both of you would be sharpening each other but you….”
Remember when I told you I talked to an elder disrespectfully?
That was when.
I didn’t even let him finish…
” I…what?” I barked looking up from the floor. Dad’s eyes narrowed. He wasn’t sure what just happened. Chinasa was astonished. I continued in rage
“I’m not chinasa and I can never be her! That I’m not your favorite daughter does not automatically make me the bad one!”
I stopped to take a quick breath
“You always blame me for everything. EVERYTHING! She breaks a rule, I’m blamed. She doesn’t do well, I’m blamed too!”
By that time, dad was standing still looking bemusedly, wondering if it was Chinaza talking.
I continued not minding if he wished to react. I had been pushed to the wall for so long. That evening, my mouth finally opened and I couldn’t stop till I unbottled everything I’d been keeping in.
“Is she not the one standing here? Is she not? Why don’t you ask her why her result is this bad? Why does it have to be me again?”
Tears clouded my eyes and I let thentheml at that point.
“All my life all I try to do is make you see me; to make you notice my efforts. I’m not as brilliant as my twin. So what? Can’t you at least acknowledge my efforts? I’ve lived my life as if I’m I compete with my er! All because of you and mum” I inhaled “I didn’t even want to do sciences in the first place but just to prove myself to you people, I jumped into It. Don’t you see how I’m struggling to pass? Don’t you?!!”
Dad was standing at a spot. He was stupefied. At intervals, his lips would part as though he wanted to say something but words failed to come out.
“..And I study so hard to pass this stupid science” I, said tearing my result “I can’t even get a ‘well done’? Do you know how hard…” I choked “how hard it was for me to pass it? Instead of an accolade, I’m being blamed for my sister’s failure!”
“I’m not blaming you…” Dad managed to say but I cut him short.
“You were about to!”
“CHINAZA!!” Chinasa called grabbing my arm trying to call me to order. I brushed it off in anger and faced her
“And you!” I said “what do you take me for? Just because you’re their favorite, you just behave anyhow…”
She stood stupefied just like dad, eyes narrowed in shock.
“Treating me with such disrespect, don’t you have const science? If you do something wrong, at l east apologize!” I shouted, “it’s not so hard to say ‘i’m sorry’, is It?”
I couldn’t understand why but tears rolled down her cheeks too
“Chinaza..” dad said drawing nearer
“Don’t chinchilla” I snapped “you always assume I’m the bad egg.who am I to you? Am I even your daughter?!”
That was when mum came down from the stairs
“What’s going on here?”
Dad and Chinasa were still in shock. I was overwhelmed with gloom and whenever I opened my mouth to speak, the tears wouldn’t let me.
So, I decided to walk out…
Mum kept on asking”What is it? What’s going on” No one answered
I walked out on them
I made a mental note to apologize to everyone. I knew I shouldn’t have said all I said. I should have bottled it in. It just seemed there was no more space to do so.
I dashed out of the house…
I knew we were still grounded but, to hell with that. I thought.